what I think I thought…

It’s Monday morning.

And this Monday morning I awoke with the same feeling that has filled the last few Monday mornings.  I don’t have a name for the feeling exactly…maybe a little bit of frustration mixed with anxiety piled on top of some self pity.  (I didn’t say it was good, healthy, or righteous!)

I don’t have a name for what I am feeling on Monday mornings…but I think I know why I feel it.

Today is Monday…which means yesterday was Sunday.  And yesterday I preached a message on “Why we sing” in worship to God.  It was a message I have been mulling over for a month or more.  I have spent hours reading, listening, talking to people…trying to wrap my mind on why worshiping God through music is such an important thing to God.  Then I put my message together…trying to figure out what to put in and what to leave out.  What is the best way to communicate what I think God wants me to say?  What is the best way to incorporate in with all the rest of the elements of our weekly worship service?

Then it happens…Sunday comes and I am excited to share what God has taught me and the Spirit pulls it all together.

Then I wake up on Monday…and it’s over.

The sermon gets filed into the cabinet.  A month’s worth of mulling banished to a manila folder.  And as I sit here on Monday I think about all of the people who missed it.  For whatever reason…they were sick or at the football game or had company in town…and all of the wrestling I did with this powerful concept of worship…and they weren’t here to have the Spirit challenge their thinking or reinforce their understanding.

And now it is Monday…and the moment has passed.  I wish I could go back and share the message again so the people who missed out could catch up to what the Lord taught the rest of us…but I can’t.  Because Sunday is 6 days away.  And I have to have a new powerful truth to share in a way that is going to enlighten and inspire…that, in exactly one week, will get filed away into the manila folder.  And the cycle continues.

But there is good news on this Monday morning.  As I lay in by bed at 5:45 thinking and praying about my Monday morning feeling…God reminded me of a promise found in Isaiah 55…

As the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish, so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater, so is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.

There is the cure for my Monday morning feeling.  God will accomplish HIS DESIRE and achieve HIS PURPOSE.  My desire is irrelevant.  My purpose doesn’t matter.  It only matter if it is my word.  But it’s not.  It’s HIS.  To do with whatever he wants.

So today is Monday.  And yesterday God’s Word was shared.  And even as I type this…he is using it to accomplish something.  He is using it to achieve something in someone today.

And today…I get the honor of wrestling, mulling, thinking, praying and planning to bring the rain again next week.   What an honor.